I will tell my story, how I turned from a decent person into a monster.

Chapter One
Gambler's traits

Ever since I was a kid I was addicted to games, I started with Dandy. Spent a lot of time at the console.

When I was 9 years old. In our town we opened the first computer clubs and I started playing there games like CS, half-life , quick 3 at first not much. But then more and more. From about grade 5 or 6 I started going to morning packages on weekends it was from 9:00 am to 1:00 pm or I took night packages from 00:00 to 9:00 am playing all night.

Chapter 2
Youth

From about 14 to 19 years old I could say I stopped spending much time on computer and spent more time outside with my friends playing soccer, walking around etc. But at 19 years old when my friends went into the army (I did not go not fit) I got bored and my one friend who stayed too, as well as I showed me online mmorpg here I got hooked on it and started boring. Exactly a year I fell out of reality from morning till night was stuck in it. Until my friends came back from the army. I was just ashamed of myself. That I'd wasted my time.


Chapter 3
The First Spending

And then not long after that I was already married and we were expecting a child, a good job, an apartment, a car. During this period of my life I got nostalgia, I downloaded that mmorpg again and began to linger there in the evenings. Already having a stable income, I first thought I spent money on the game. And a kind of spending money like in a casino. I bought these boxes from which randomly fell out game item. It could be valuable, or it could be crap. And I could lose half my paycheck on them until I pulled out something valuable. So it lasted half a year, until my wife had enough of it and brought me to my senses. But this time I was lucky, I sold out the character and almost recouped my financial losses. For the next 5 years everything was fine. Lived without a computer or any games at all.


Chapter 4
The Turn to Nowhere.

I knew we had fellow bettors at work, but I had no interest in it. I never got into it or asked the guys. Summer 2018 World Cup, everyone is discussing betting and I think why not. I'll bet 50 or 100₽, sort of not serious I thought. I registered and began to bet, secretly from my wife, 50 or 100 rubles each. There were losses at first. And bets began to grow to 500₽ , 1000₽. I started winning and it gave me faith that I could not only play, but to come out in the black. After another series of losses I put in a credit card, then took a loan and blew it. So I was sitting at work, thinking about what to do. The idea came to me to take out a credit card and live on it, and pay back the loans with my wages. I left an application and, by some miracle, they approved it and gave me a good limit. But my disease only progressed, my inner voice said let's bet my money back. And I lost it completely to zero. I tried to develop my winning strategy in online slots playing in demo mode at slotsrun.

Chapter 5
The first disappointments and losses of possessions.

My brain started actively working, "where to get the money" was the only thought spinning in my head. After all, none of my loved ones knew that I was gambling and losing money. I felt like a traitor and a nobody. I decided to turn to a friend, I told him everything. I told him how difficult it was for me and that I needed treatment. I asked him for a small loan, he agreed. We were sitting in the car, he said well, let's look for a clinic, I told him that it is expensive and not now, he said okay. He wired me the amount and we went our separate ways. Of course I lost all that money. And I was left empty again. I was again in a zero-sum position, need the money, but where to find them. I decided to sell my car and close my credit cards without thinking for a long time. But what do I tell my wife, why it is necessary to do. After all, we were all good. But the true madman is an ace at deception and inventing stories. In the end, I something I lied, there was a scandal. She asked not to sell at least now, and do it in the spring. It was in November. I told her that the time is not enough it must be done right now and urgently. But I did not tell her the details of why it was urgent. The car was sold just before the new year, very cheap below the market. With tears in my eyes I parted with it, it was very hard for me and completely satisfied me. I thought that I was with this car for a long time. I received the money back immediately for the loan to a friend and the rest I threw on my credit cards. Losing again later and putting the cards back to zero. It's a crash again.

Chapter 6
Double Life

When I got home, I didn't say anything, and I acted like nothing had happened. Though there was a wild terror of betting 24/7 in my head the whole time. The money found itself. On New Year's holidays the Bank sent the sms that increased the limit on credit cards. Which also over the holidays and were drained. I began again to think frantically where to look for money because I had to eat, live and pay loans. I started borrowing from my friends and relatives, inventing various stories. I accumulated a decent amount of money and could not pay it back. I had to go to my sister to ask her to take out a loan. She agreed. After receiving the loan, I repaid half of it, then lost the other half again.

Again, hopelessness. My debts were growing, my car was gone. I do not know what to do. The very feeling of guilt and lying to everyone and everything did not give me any peace. Come spring my wife's relatives offered to lend us money so we bought a car, I agreed, knowing what we are in **** and another debt pinned on myself. Half of the sum, as usual, went to the betting. And somehow, by some miracle, I managed to keep half of it and bought the car, yet another lie, telling everyone that it was more expensive. Be gamble aware!
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